Archive for October 2016

5 Best Ways For Women To Keep Away From STDs

Modern culture around the world has made sex much easier than it used to be in the past. When something becomes as common as sex these days, people tend to take it for granted. Take the example of cigarettes. People will smoke cigarettes even after they have been told the health disadvantages of smoking several times just because people around them are smoking too. In a similar way, sex has become quite a dangerous activity in the recent decades. The big reason behind sex becoming unsafe is because people have forgotten that sex can cause the transmission of dangerous diseases from one person to another.

Image credit: Paul Roth / Flickr

STDs or STIs, which stand for sexually transmitted diseases and sexually transmitted illnesses respectively, are becoming more and more common these days. These diseases transfer from one person to another during sex irrespective of what kind of sex e.g. oral, intercourse etc. The responsibility of preventing STDs is equal on both, the men and women. If you are a woman, don’t think you can get away with STDs if your man is wearing a condom. Here are some tips to help you keep as far away from sexually transmitted diseases as possible.

1.      Ask Your Man To Use Condom

As the experts say, safe sex is not for just sometimes or most of the times. Safe sex should be practices every time. It really does not matter how healthy and fit your boyfriend or partner looks, you must ask him to wear a condom when having sex. It has been emphasized in the recent days that latex condoms are the most reliable preventions against STDs. While they are not a guaranty of not having any STD at all, they do prevent most of them. The most important thing to keep in mind here is that the condom is not to be worn only when you are having an intercourse. It has to be worn by your man even when you are having oral sex.

2.      Don’t Have Sex When Drunk

Why aren’t you allowed to drive a vehicle when you are drunk? It is because you don’t have control over your mind and not only can you lose consciousness but you can also do weird things. In a similar way, you don’t want to get drunk to have any control over your mind when you are around your partner. Always have sex when you are fully in your senses. You will never be responsible when you are drunk and won’t even think about any preventions during sex when the alcohol has taken effect on your senses.

3.      Always Have Prior Checkups

The biggest challenge associated with STDs is that there is no easy way to detect them. Most of the STDs don’t have any symptoms that would tell you that you have an STD. The best way to know about any such conditions is through STD testing. You should get yourself tested as regularly as possible if you are sexually active pretty frequently. An even better step to take is to have both of you get tested before having sex. Present your tests to each other to make sure no one is already infected. If you have just met a new partner and you are thinking about having sex with him, it would be best to ask him to show you his latest STDs testing results for your peace of mind.

4.      Don’t Get Along With Those Who Keep Moving

Yes, there are some people who keep changing their partners. If you have recently met someone who has had many partners in the past, you don’t want to have sex with this person unless you are fully sure of the fact that he is clean from any STDs. Ask him to have an STD test before you get into bed with him. Do not just trust their words because you can’t trust a person who has been moving from girl to girl. Some people are really good actors and your intuitions won’t do much good to you when they are trying to make you trust them with their acting. The only way to trust them is through STD tests and looking at their results.

5.      No Douching

Some women are under the impression that douching after sex is going to help them prevent the STDs. What they don’t realize is that they are doing the most wrong thing they can by douching. Modern studies have proved that douching actually removes the bacteria from your vagina that could actually help in preventing the STDs from taking effect in your body. In addition to that, you should familiarize yourself with the dental dams. Dental dams are to be used by men when they are giving you oral pleasure. This little thing provides a wall between their mouths and your vaginal and anal areas to prevent STDs.

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YOU JUST DID A NEW THING

 

Dear God 

So this is my last time this month to write to you about openness. So today I just want to thank you for all you have shown me and taught me about being open. You have shined a light on all the closed signs I had in my heart, mind, and soul and helped me to replace them with open signs.

I thought the possibility of my Pampered Chef team being green this month was closed, but you said watch me, I am about to do a new thing and you opened up possibilities that I could not see before. 

I thought I had lost a team member who seemed like she was shutting down and you said watch and you reopened the relationship. When you did, you opened up a level of honesty in the relationship which did not exist before. You moved her from a position of living in fear and watering someone else’s yard to realizing she needed to water her own.

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Inspiritual: A space for spiritual evolution and transformation

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Celebrity Love Story Of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini and Liam Payne

We are all familiar with the biblical story of how Adam the first man met Eve, and upon seeing her it is recorded that Adam said, these words allIshe is the bone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’. Confirming that indeed he had found his better half. And we all need a better half. But fortunate or unfortunately most of us don’t get a chance to meet that better half in an aforementioned manner. Today technology has revolutionised how we meet out better halves. But I believe that that statement is relative and given an opportunity, Eve should be given a chance to say, those same words that Adam said

Surely older women seeking younger men is not a strange thing. Just recently we were treated to the spectacle of Cheryl Fernandez-Versini a 32-year lady dating Liam Payne a 22-year-old man. It is rumoured that these two first became friends and later on their status changed to lovers. Their friendship dating back to when Liam was only 14 years old, and Cheryl was one of the judges at the X Factor show in 2008, and according to sources from the Daily Mail, it was a wink from Liam during his performance of “Fly Me To The Moon” song that sparked the relationship. Online platforms and websites, like cougar dating sites, are making it easier for anyone to meet their lost rib by the stroke of a button. These sites offer opportunities to people to kick start relationships that have culminated in marriage. They offer security, trustworthy and reputable older women to easily link up with younger men for that special relationship.

The Liam Payne and Cheryl Fernandez-Veronicas is a true reflection of how the online dating website platform can easily, give you the opportunity to whisper out our opening statement, aElbone of my bone and flesh of my flesh’. The online cougar club, is for singles, bring together women and women from across the globe to share and spread the love. It is estimated that this given site has over 8,383,000 members, with a majority of these being from who mostly come from USA, Canada, UK and Australia. It offers diversity in that it allows one to meet with divorcees, single mums and not forgetting sexy singles good looking young men and ladies. There with the diversity in dating websites the age match is not a gamble but a sure deal, with enhanced security and reliability.

The best things in life are free, it’s a common saying but the cougar dating websites make it available for you to truly enjoy love which one of the free elements. At free cougar website, for instance, this is the objective where older women are ready to explore the world of love, through lasting matchmaking service, which enables those who want to date fairly older women to explore their liberties of choice. And to crown it all this is a free website meaning even right now you could find the love of your life by a click. There are too many fishes to fry, just toss yourself and maybe just maybe you may be the next Liam Payne and Cheryl Fernandez-Versini flowering a beautiful love story.

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Top 10 secrets of sugar momma dating

There are several reasons why younger men are dating older women and vice versa. This kind of arrangement has become like a symbiotic relationship where, for example, the younger man comes into it with youthful vigor while the woman brings stability and financial security in the bargain. Therefore, before you start browsing those sugar momma websites, read this article and follow this valuable tips.

Top 10 Secrets of Sugar Momma Dating

1. Know her needs

Know your sugar momma’s requirements and what you’re going to give back in the bargain. What are you bringing in this relationship that she is going to love? Ask yourself that question. When you lack confidence, and you’re not interesting enough to her you would rather forget about sugar mommy dating websites.

2. Know what you need

To be certain of what exactly you need, you should be aware of what sugar mommas are out there and specifically what they’re searching for in a toyboy. Some of the younger men are sophisticated and intelligent. You must have strong likes and dislikes, and must be at your wits best wherever you’re with them. Why do you think Mariah Carey, for example, would make you her toyboy if you don’t have anything intelligent to say about music? You get the drift

3. Be Youthful

The major reason why sugar mamas go for younger men is due to the fact that they’re more energetic and less jaded. They help the sugar mommy feel young again. Therefore, before hitting the sugar momma dating sites, you ensure you are at your youthful best. Be vibrant and full of energy and life so that you may infuse these qualities in the tired soul of your potential sugar mama.

4. Be a man

Don’t think that because she has you means she expects you to behave like a brat. A cougar is a real woman who needs a real man. You should be control of the situation, and be assertive like a man in any situation.

5. Be exciting and different

Among the reasons why she went out to look for younger men is because she feels she’s missing that extreme satisfaction. May be she lost her long term partner who was a couch potato and lazy in bed. What she doesn’t want is a repeat performance. Be curious, spontaneou and flashy.

6. Step it up

She’s going to be harder to impress than the younger girls you’ve been dating. Her years give her enough experience in all areas. Therefore, know the kind of restaurants you’re taking her to and the gifts you buy her. Such kind of stuff.

7. Compliment her

She might be older. But boost her confidence by doing little things to her like just complimenting her. She is going to be very excited hearing those sweet words from you, as the younger prince on the scene!

8. Do not be a control freak

A sassy, sexy and mature woman is not going to pliantly respond to each and every whim you force on her like a dictator. She is going to make you look like a fool for trying. Just try to moderate your approach. Perhaps, she has just divorced a control freak, and she doesn’t feel like jumping from a frying pan to fire!

9. Establish boundaries

What kind of relationship do you both want anyway? Honestly, you should first try working out your physical relationship, and then ultimately if you feel confident enough concerning asking for more, don’t hesitate. You should be frank with her, showing her your mature self.

10. Do not be intimidated by her friend

Yes, she has a cycle of friends. Just be confident around them. Perhaps, she has told them about your qualities. Therefore, when you go out to a party, just enjoy yourself and don’t worry about anything in the world.

All in all there are several top sugar momma dating sites that are worth your visit when you want to hook up with a cougar. You never know when and where you’re finally going to get the love of your life. These sites may just get you on the road in your long search for that love.

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Top 10 secrets of sugar momma dating

There are several reasons why younger men are dating older women and vice versa. This kind of arrangement has become like a symbiotic relationship where, for example, the younger man comes into it with youthful vigor while the woman brings stability and financial security in the bargain. Therefore, before you start browsing those sugar momma websites, read this article and follow this valuable tips.

Top 10 Secrets of Sugar Momma Dating

Know her needs

Know your sugar momma’s requirements and what you’re going to give back in the bargain. What are you bringing in this relationship that she is going to love? Ask yourself that question. When you lack confidence, and you’re not interesting enough to her you would rather forget about sugar mommy dating websites.

2. Know what you need

To be certain of what exactly you need, you should be aware of what sugar mommas are out there and specifically what they’re searching for in a toyboy. Some of the younger men are sophisticated and intelligent. You must have strong likes and dislikes, and must be at your wits best wherever you’re with them. Why do you think Mariah Carey, for example, would make you her toyboy if you don’t have anything intelligent to say about music? You get the drift

3. Be Youthful

The major reason why sugar mamas go for younger men is due to the fact that they’re more energetic and less jaded. They help the sugar mommy feel young again. Therefore, before hitting the sugar momma dating sites, you ensure you are at your youthful best. Be vibrant and full of energy and life so that you may infuse these qualities in the tired soul of your potential sugar mama.

4. Be a man

Don’t think that because she has you means she expects you to behave like a brat. A cougar is a real woman who needs a real man. You should be control of the situation, and be assertive like a man in any situation.

5. Be exciting and different

Among the reasons why she went out to look for younger men is because she feels she’s missing that extreme satisfaction. May be she lost her long term partner who was a couch potato and lazy in bed. What she doesn’t want is a repeat performance. Be curious, spontaneou and flashy.

6. Step it up

She’s going to be harder to impress than the younger girls you’ve been dating. Her years give her enough experience in all areas. Therefore, know the kind of restaurants you’re taking her to and the gifts you buy her. Such kind of stuff.

7. Compliment her

She might be older. But boost her confidence by doing little things to her like just complimenting her. She is going to be very excited hearing those sweet words from you, as the younger prince on the scene!

8. Do not be a control freak

A sassy, sexy and mature woman is not going to pliantly respond to each and every whim you force on her like a dictator. She is going to make you look like a fool for trying. Just try to moderate your approach. Perhaps, she has just divorced a control freak, and she doesn’t feel like jumping from a frying pan to fire!

9. Establish boundaries

What kind of relationship do you both want anyway? Honestly, you should first try working out your physical relationship, and then ultimately if you feel confident enough concerning asking for more, don’t hesitate. You should be frank with her, showing her your mature self.

10. Do not be intimidated by her friend

Yes, she has a cycle of friends. Just be confident around them. Perhaps, she has told them about your qualities. Therefore, when you go out to a party, just enjoy yourself and don’t worry about anything in the world.

All in all there are several top sugar momma dating sites that are worth your visit when you want to hook up with a cougar. You never know when and where you’re finally going to get the love of your life. These sites may just get you on the road in your long search for that love.

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4 Things People Get Wrong About Long Distance Relationships

I’m seeing more and more people being in long distance relationships and I can’t help but wonder, if more people are choosing to date someone residing in another country why are people still so negative about it? Romance between two people starts off as a gamble with fate with a mixture of fireworks like the 4th of July and as days goes by, feelings tend to get stronger and eventually talks of ‘happily ever after’ comes to the surface. So then I ask, how is this any different if the romance is generated from afar or near? Being in both a failed long distance relationship and currently in a successful one, here are 4 things people get wrong about long distance relationships:

It’s not real

Two people in love can reside in two different area codes, let alone separate countries. In the year 2016, technology has increased dramatically where the functionality of communication has become easier to achieve. With the technology increasing, it’s also safe to say it’s easier to ‘pretend’ to be someone you’re not. People do unfortunately get catfish, and that’s the sad truth. However, two separate residential countries doesn’t justify whether the relationship is real or not. That spark of interest to the emotional rollercoaster through arguments and hardships are real. The time invested for both parties to work through those hardships are also real. Hearts break at airports are real, and so are happily ever after’s – the only difference is the physical aspect.

You lose feelings easily

Yes, distance is hard and you have to work extra hard to keep the romance alive when you’re separated. It’s not easy, but it doesn’t mean you’ll lose feelings because you can’t physically touch them. It takes a strong person and a stronger duo to understand that the physical touch isn’t the most important aspect in a relationship. I believe it’s also safe to say that if a person genuinely loses feelings in someone, it will happen whether they’re 1-minute away or 1 layover away.

Temptation

The sensual need to be with your partner gets harder (no pun intended) the longer you two are together and being apart doesn’t make it easier. We’re all adults and all adults have their needs. As adults we’re introduced to certain things to satisfy those needs and if you or your partner has a hard time figuring out their boundaries because they can’t keep it in their pants, the infidelity is bound to happen. That is no different from dating someone who’s local. The only difference is, being in a long distance relationship you work much more harder to keep that bond strong that breaking it simply because you needed a quick satisfaction doesn’t seem to be worth it. Granted, I could be wrong and there’s still asshole’s out there that would rather slip into someone else’s pants for the night than to resist the urge. But if that were the case, would you want to be with someone who is weak?

It’s impossible

Impossible; the word that limits anyone from believing they can do it. If there was one thing that Disney has taught us, is that nothing is impossible. Yes, it takes two strong people to fight through the distance and the will power to keep going even after the distance has closed. Long distance relationships only fail because one person has stopped trying, and is that not true for any relationship? There is so much more to the relationship failing, unfortunately distance is one of them. Having said that, failed relationships due to the distance should never discourage anyone; it should only provide hope that the right person is yet to be found. 

If you have asked me over 10 years ago if I believed that long distance could work, I can easily say no. During that time, technology hasn’t made it possible to connect that easily and I haven’t experienced enough happiness and burden to know what I will and will not tolerate. Now in my late 20s, I know myself well enough to say that long distance is not for everyone but it suits my needs and my personality. No matter how far or near someone is, being romantically involved is the same throughout the books. There is no difference between the two (aside from the obvious: distance) so labeling your relationship as long distance doesn’t mean it’s less than qualified nor should anyone look at your relationship any different because your SO lives elsewhere. A relationship is a relationship no matter how far or near, and if you’re lucky enough to find someone who chooses to never be separated from your heart, my advice is: keep them.

 

xo, glenny
www.confessionsofascorpio.com

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Winterize Your Skincare – The Cleanser

Winterize Your Skincare

From the Desk of Clearissa Coward’s Command Center ~ Avon Diva

Winterize Your Skincare – The Cleanser

Winterize Your Skincare

The season is changing and we need to change some things to go along with that change. We will pull out our warm clothing. We will change from air conditioning to heat in the home, and some of us will even change our diets, going from lighter foods to the heavier comfort foods associated with colder weather. While making all these changes we must not forget that we need to prepare our skin for the colder weather as well and this article is based on learning how to Winterize Your Skincare – The Cleanser.

This article may contain affiliate links. All thoughts and opinions are mine and you can view my entire disclosure policy here.

Let’s face it, all of the women I know and most of the men want skin that defies age and our harsh environment. And although are born with good genes, we must help our skin fight the day-Winterize Your Skincareto-day harshness of air pollution, hot & cold temperatures, and the plain ole wear and tear of living. To do that, I suggest investing in a good skincare regime. A good skincare system has several different steps and a product for each step. For today we are beginning at the beginning with THE CLEANSER. Before your skin can look, feel and most importantly be healthy, it must be cleansed properly and it does not need to cost a mint to get er’ done.

First things first, do you know your skin type? Do you have oily skin? Do you have dry skin? Do you have combination skin? Do you suffer from acne, wrinkles, sagging, or any other problem areas? If so, don’t panic, we all have our burdens to bear.   You first need to determine or ask an Independent Avon representative…me,  to help you determine your natural skin type. Once you know this; the rest is, as they say…good skin history. Read the article in its entirety here.

 

 

 

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Top 10 Best Selling Sex Toys

Sex toys have finally come out in the open; they are now the hottest, best-selling satisfaction toys. Are you’re new to toys and want to know where and what to begin with? Or you have used some and were not very pleased with them.  Take a look at the wide range of superior-quality, luxurious pleasure toys listed here. These are the most popular ones sold and preferred worldwide. These adult toys gratify different types of pleasures, so you will defiantly find one that will suit your innermost desire.

You can choose from a sexy, with different speed levels, rabbit vibrator to a exciting bondage accessories or a massager vibrating pleasure wand, and naughty anal toys are just a few to name. Best-selling toys come in wide range and are for pleasure purpose, for you to experiment on your body and accomplish more intense and exhilarating orgasms. Add any or all of them to your collection of toys, and they are sure to become your new favorites!

The list to choose from:

Waterproof Vibrator
It has surprising power with silky smooth touch, user friendly with a classic in design. This vibrator is 100% waterproof so you can use it in the shower or bath and explore sensations with a little steam!

G-spot and clitoral rechargeable Vibrator
This vibrator combines function with elegance and is easy to operate. This uniquely-shaped toy is perfectly designed to stimulate both your g-spot and clitoris at the same time.
 
Eva
It is the first hands-free vibrator that works without being strapped on or tucked into the lingerie. Instead, you just need to tuck it in.  Its Rechargeable via USB, waterproof and so cute to look at.  

Magic Wand Rechargeable
The new Magic Wand is lighter and quieter while it still maintains the same powerful vibration that a woman can rely on for years to come. Attachment heads for direct stimulation and penetration are also available and sold separately. It also comes with a plug-and-play option in case you have forgotten to charge it.

Cupid’s Vibrating Love Egg
With a cute design, this is a powerful vibrating pleasure tool. It’s perfect for that intense orgasm and deep pleasures.

The Rampant Rabbit
Equivalent to the power of the original Rabbit, it is super flexible and comes with a bendable shaft. You can mould it to fit your own shape, use it to tickle your G-spot and to intensify your orgasms with every single thrust.
 
Sensual Massage Oil
Massage oils are perfect for solo fun or delicious sensual games with your partner. Caress your skin with this scented oil, across to ease the tension and get you in mood for some naughty games later. Some of these oils come infused with tiny flakes of 24-carat gold too.

Clitoral Vibrators
The most talked about clitoral vibrators are now easily available for people looking for ultra-luxury. it is a total must have for deliciously wicked pleasures. Amazing vibration strength, 6 incredible settings and a waterproof finish will make this super-sleek vibrator will take your pleasure to the next level.

Comet Key Wand
This is a strange question-mark looking toy, but can change your sex life completely. This toy when paired with a clitoral vibrator is the best bet ever. The scoop shape and globular tip are great for hitting the sensitive top of your intimate area, and the battery on this one will last for a continuous two to three hours.

Toy For Couples
This toy is so revolutionary, U-shaped and pretty small. It slides inside you with one end vibrating against the G-spot while the other snuggles up against the clitoris. The real innovative part of it is that your man can enter you while you’re wearing it, so the vibration benefit

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Raise Your Sex-Dead Relationship This Halloween

Girl, Young, Female, Happy, Face, Person, PortraitHere’s a question for you ladies — all of you ladies, whether you’re divorced, single or partnered: When was the last time you took the time to really sexy yourself up?

I don’t mean “look pretty.” I mean SEXY. I mean wearing the kind of outfit and undergarments that make you half-giggle (for the audacity), and tingle from head to toe with mischief

With Halloween just around the corner, let me remind you all — men and women alike — that it’s the perfect occasion and excuse to ignite some fire into your confidence and/or the bedroom. And guys (nudge nudge) — if things have been a little sexually “lacking” or “boring” with your partner as of late, you should read this article and take notes.

But first, let me ask when was the last time either of you went to a costume shop and tried on different outfits? And I don’t mean “cute” couple costumes like a Ghostbuster-and-marshmallow ghost duo. Contrary to what you may think, regardless of your body type, there is a wide array of incredibly sexy attire to choose from. Seriously — when was the last time you even tried… or have you ever? 

Oftentimes as women we forget — or never allow ourselves — to discover or own that sexy bad girl/vixen part of ourselves. I know firsthand many of the reasons and excuses we use to sidestep it: Life is busy. We’re tired, too fat, not in the mood. It’s not important or inappropriate, it’s too silly or too much work.

But ladies, if you’ve never worn a pair of lacy stockings or a high-end corset or a wicked pair of stilettos, you are denying yourself one of the powerful delights of being a woman. And despite whatever body insecurities you may have, all your man is going to think when he sees you is that he’s died and gone to heaven.

Now obviously, if you’re planning to attend a party, what you wear will depend on the venue (do I even have to say this?). Modifications should be made in the name of good taste (and reputation). But this doesn’t mean you need to dress up like a goddamn doughnut, either. I mean, c’mon — unless, of course, your partner knows there’s something “super scrumptious” underneath that costume for “later.” 

Another idea is to use Halloween to try out a completely new venue, like a sex club. Yes, you could wear that corset and black leather miniskirt and not stand out at all — you will, however, if you dress like a goddamn doughnut! You could also very easily wear a mask… and,no, you don’t have to actually participate in any “activities” if you don’t want to.

Alternatively, you could create your own party at home — with a roleplay scenario just for two. Nurse/doctor, secretary/boss, school girl/teacher, superhero/villain, cleaning maid/businessman… doesn’t this sound more entertaining than binge-eating candy and watching Carrie?

Sound like too much work? Are excuses flooding your brain already? Ladies, I’d recommend that you stop with your to-do list, commit to making the effort and try on a half-dozen costumes before you rule this out. I swear you won’t even feel like the same person; you’ll stand differently, hold yourself differently, and look and feel fantastic.

And gentlemen, I can not emphasize enough that for a woman, feeling “pretty” doesn’t necessarily mean feeling “sexy” (translate: “in the mood”). A woman feeling sexy has to come from within — the female brain needs to anticipate; be massaged, titillated and to wonder… 

Now is the time to get her “wondering.”

Delaine Moore

DelaineMoore.com

The Secret Sex Life of a Single Mom

 

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YOUR BEST FRIEND IS BEING ABUSED. NOW WHAT?

 


Before we get started,  I advised my friend *Jane that the negative antics of this man warranted a front row seat on my blog, and as I write this, my anger is barely held in check. Yes, she told him who I was and to check out this post, and guess what? He laughed! About 2 weeks ago, *Jane was visited by her nephew by marriage who stayed with she and her husband about a week. She talked to him on the phone occasionally, and always thought he had a phenomenal sense of humor; so she and her husband were looking forward to a great time. Yay!

 

It didn’t take long before *Jane realized that  *Dick was rude and abrasive, not only to her (behind her back), but even worse, to his own wife.  He lives in another state and rarely ever sees her, yet in Dick’s eyes, *Jane needed to lose weight. This became a major issue for him as he shared it with other family members throughout his stay, until Jane said something to him directly regarding his offensive comments.  His wife *Mary, was called a b****h more times than Jane could count almost throughout the entire visit. He even tried to buy other women drinks when his wife went to the bathroom at a club. This behavior caused Jane’s husband to intervene because *Dick had the audacity to get angry with his wife when he was caught and she complained!


Fast forward to the other night back in their hometown of Boston. Apparently *Dick punched his wife causing her to fall, hitting her head on a table. Now this beautiful newlywed has a black eye and other bruises and scrapes. At her wit’s end, *Jane called me, livid with her nephew and in fear of Mary’s life. This is a weak and insecure man who has to control situations by any means necessary. YES, I’M TALKING TO YOU, *DICK!  You have a wife who treats you like a king and this is how 

your react?

If this scenario seems familiar or unbelievable, it’s happening all over the world.  Your neighbor is going through it. We hear about wives of sports stars, and we see it on the news. What makes this a little different, is that the victim is not remaining silent. That deserves a HUGE kudos! In addition, Mary is exceptionally wealthy and well traveled. She has a family who loves her.  Those on the outside looking in can’t fathom that she would stay in this type of toxic relationship.   She’s in love and believes her husband will change.  She has no idea things will only get worse.

Statistically, in an abusive environment, the victim will leave an average of 7 times before finally staying away for good.  Homelessness, fear for her life, no funds, and promises of change often lure her back, only to get caught up in the same vicious cycle over and over again.  The loss of her self-esteem makes it even more difficult to leave. 

 

It’s almost 2017, yet it still amazes me that society blames the victim for physical abuse, and very few people take verbal abuse seriously, thinking it’s no big deal.  “Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me”, is a vicious myth we learned as kids. When I talk about abuse with friends, family and even strangers, it often feels as if I’m the elephant in the room, trying to convince others that domestic violence is a criminal act. But I have to take a stand and not stay silent. Being humiliated, embarrassed in public, called degrading names, or being physically assaulted is not funny, and it’s not cute.

If you know someone in this situation, it takes a tremendous amount of patience and kindness.  You may see physical proof of what is going on, or you may see a person you no longer know. You’re going to feel helpless because you hate to see your friend in pain.  Perhaps, you’ll even be cut off from even seeing or speaking with your friend.  You may hear that she will leave again and again. She may say nothing at all. LISTEN. Dig in your heels and suggest that she keep a journal of everything that is happening, including dates. The more she reads what she writes, it may give courage and clarity on what she needs to do. It also provides documentation for legal reasons. Encourage her to speak to you, or someone she trusts as frequently as possible. LISTEN.  Don’t give up on her and shut the door, even when you get frustrated. LISTEN. Encourage your friend to be safe, and ensure that you are always there for support. Remind her that there are also shelters who are experts in providing a safe haven as needed. 


The National Domestic Violence Hotline is Open 24 hours a day at: 1-800−799−7233, but there are also shelters locally in your state.
Abuse can sadly be found in many areas, including abuse towards parents, siblings, children and men.  This blog focuses on the abuse towards women, and also women who are or have been homeless.

Stay strong and stay safe…

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