Archive for September 2016

Gifts You Can Consider Giving to Your First Date

It can be an over-exciting experience to go on your first date. If you have been on a lot of dates, it might not stir the passion in you, but things are pretty different for a first timer. While you are worried about the character and personality of your first date, you are more worried about your own appearance and presentation. You can forgive your date for the little mistakes but your own mistakes and blunders will keep haunting you for the whole night. If you are woman, you know your emotions are more fragile than men, and so your first date has to be a perfect one.

Image courtesy of Korry Benneth / Flickr

The first thing that most women are concerned about on their first dates is how they should look. They will keep changing dresses and pull out every clothing item in their closet. However, there are many other small things that matter on your first date. For example, a gift on your first date says a lot about you and your feelings after meeting your date. Being a first date, you can’t afford to buy expensive items for him. Here are some ideas that should help you with the perfect gift for your first date.

A Good Luck Card

The simplest and easiest idea is to go for a card that says something good about your date. You don’t have to have promises of living together for lifetime on the card since this is just your first date. You can go for a card that contains a few sentences to wish the two of you good luck for starting a successful relationship. You could get a bit creative with it and mention a few facts about your personality. It is up to you to decide at what point during the date you will give the card to him.

A Cupcake

How about showing your first date some of your baking skills with a cupcake? Once again, you can be as creative with your cupcake as you want. You can embellish the cupcake with different types of items and give it a particular depending on your mood. You might want to have a look into the meanings of different colors before you choose the color of your cupcake. If you know your first date’s favorite flavors, you could just make the cupcake with that particular flavor to make him happy.

A Framed Picture

This particular gift will be given to him after your first date is over. This can be a great way to tell him how much you liked to be with him. So, make sure you ask someone to take a picture of you both. Take multiple photos to get the perfect shot. After going home, you can get a printout of the picture and have it framed. You can then send this picture to him with a small piece of writing. On the paper you can tell him how much you liked the date and his personality. You could even end the note with a question about yourself.

A Memorable Toy

If you research online you can find several toys that are particularly designed for first dates. You can pick a small toy that reminds him of you and the first date with you. It could be a small figure with some funny inscription on it. Just make sure you pick the appropriate toy and not something that looks really childish. If you can’t find the right toy, you can get a toy for children but do some of your creative decoration on it to make it fit for the occasion.

A Bottle Of Wine

This particular gift is quite a common one. It is probably the first thing that comes to most women’s mind when they are going on their first date. It also proves to be one of most suitable gift ideas for the occasion. On your first date, you don’t know the person really well. You don’t want to send a message with your gift that you don’t want to send. It is best that you gift something that does not send an impression that you really liked the person or you are really into them. A bottle of wine would be just perfect.

A Box Of Chocolates

This is another great idea since it does not send any particular message to your first date. You don’t have to buy a very expensive box of chocolates. Just make sure you get one with a few different flavors. This will provide you with a great way to talk about something and know his choice. You could also sit in a park and enjoy the chocolates together while talking to each other if you both don’t like movies or theme parks. Make sure to decorate the box to make it look presentable and beautiful.

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The Curse of the Middle Aged Singleton

When you’re a single woman in a world full of marrieds, life can be tough.

Unless your network consists entirely of very close friends with whom you communicate honestly and regularly, the sad truth is you ARE going to be judged, misunderstood, and regarded with suspicion.

There is also a sliding scale of apparent wantonness associated with being a single woman, depending both on age and previous marital status.

A younger single woman isn’t as much of a threat. She has time on her side, so can be selective and therefore choosier.

A lady in her 60s will be considered less of a risk, because – in others’ eyes – she will be ‘past it’.

But imagine being a divorced woman of 45, who likes to wear nice clothes, and high heels. Now, as most women know, we dress for ourselves. But put a single woman in a room full of marrieds, in a pair of stilettos, and she’s on the prowl!

Here are just some of the myths associated with being a single woman in a married world.


We are out to steal a man, any man.

It matters not one iota that we are very probably single by choice. If we are sans homme then we’re going to try and steal someone else’s.


Ladies – we’re not. You see, a good percentage of us divorcees will have earned that status because we chose to divorce a cheating man. Not always; sometimes marriages fail for other reasons, and yes sometimes women cheat. But if we have kicked a man to the kerb for playing away from home, we are not about to cause another woman that pain. And we are only too aware that if a man cheats on his wife with another woman, then he will cheat on that woman with another.

It’s something we see all the time – we happen to start talking to a couple in a social setting, and the wife will tighten her grip on her man’s arm, while smiling dangerously. Suddenly even talking to a married man is regarded as flirting, and before long he will be dragged away to ‘safer’ company.


We’re desperate

Of course, we are so starved of sex and affection that we will take anything on offer.


Some married men will make a play for the single woman, and use the old line ‘me and my wife don’t have sex anymore’ to try and entice the poor celibate spinster into an affair.

It’s not like that at all.

The thing is, it’s probably taken us years to get out of a bad relationship; the last thing we need is to get into another one. In gaining our freedom from a relationship which could well have destroyed our self-esteem, we are not about to embark on another!
If we want male company, we will find it legitimately. That’s what dating sites are for! We probably do date, but want to do so on our terms, not when a man can get away from his wife.


We need pity

Poor us. We must be lonely and have an empty life.


We really, really don’t. Yes, going through a break up is hard, at any stage. But if we are out socialising it is because we’re ready to, and that means we are going out and having fun.

For the first time in a long time we are probably enjoying the freedom to come and go as we please, wear what we want, and stay up all night if that’s where the mood takes us.

We have probably hibernated under the blankets and eaten cereal straight from the box for a few weeks while we came to terms with the heartache – because regardless of who was to blame, or what happened… divorce is hard.

We’ve done the soppy movie and ice cream with one spoon nights, and probably redecorated our houses. If we are out being sociable, we’ve gone through the phases of a break up and are now enjoying, or learning to enjoy, the single life.
Please don’t pity us!


We’re an odd number

Really, does it matter, in the grand scheme of things, if you have nine people at your dinner party instead of a nice rounded eight?


This is a common problem. It’s not as evident on nights out where most of the evening will be spent standing, but dinner parties are a whole different ball game. There is this obsession with having even numbers seated at the table – us single ladies throw the continuity. We are one too many girls and upset the status quo. We make it messy.

But seriously…unless you suffer from OCD, having an odd number of guests around the table isn’t going to make any difference.


We will be grateful for any single male friends you have

We are knocking on a bit, so the dating pond is getting empty.


No. Just no. If anything, we are more choosy, not less. It’s true that as we get older we begin to appreciate other qualities in a prospective partner, but trying to set us up with a man who we wouldn’t have been attracted to the last time we were single is only going to end one way.

The truth is that we will have set the bar higher this time around. We’ve proved we can make it on our own, so we will date only if we want to, not because we HAVE to.
And the worse part of this whole setting us up thing, is when we don’t know you’re doing it! We’re happy to be going for dinner with a girlfriend and her husband. Just the three of us. Until wow, what a coincidence, your single male friend just happens to turn up. And he’s in on it, so thinks he’s onto a sure thing and boy, do things get awkward.
We do appreciate the sentiment, honestly, but please run it by us first.


We must be frigid

If we resist the advances of a man we’re frigid. Or gay.


This, out of all the others, is possibly the most insulting of all things associated with being single later in life.

I have lost count of the number of times when a friend of a friend has hit on me, and for whatever reason (I’m already dating, he’s not my type, I’m too busy to date or I simply don’t like him) I have turned him down, only to be accused (usually loudly) of being frigid. Or a lesbian. Of which I am neither.

I am simply particular about who I date, and I’d rather not date at all than date someone I didn’t like that much. And the same is true for most single women I have talked to.

We’re not a strange species at all. We are simply enjoying life and taking our time with choosing another person to share our lives with. If you know a divorcee, talk to her and you’ll see that she’s just like you, not some strange creature from another world to be viewed with suspicion.

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Protect Yourself from Online Dating Scammers Using Google Image Search

protect yourself from online dating scammers using Google image search

Online dating for women over 50 is, unfortunately, a mine field because scam artists abound.Before you approach a man on or respond to a message, take a good look at the photo.

Scammer Clues

If your first impression is “He’s good looking,” check again. Does he almost look like a movie star?

Next, look at the profile. Are there any grammatical mistakes that make it appear that someone whose first language wasn’t English wrote it?

For example, if he says, “I will like to treat you like a queen,”stop again. Someone whose first language is English wouldn’t use those words; he’d say, “I’d like to” or “I would like to” instead of “I will like to.”

Many con artists operate from counties outside the U.S. and English isn’t their native language.

Steps to Take to Protect Yourself from Online Dating Scammers

If the man is hunky and the language in the profile is a little “off,” it’s a good idea to do a reverse Google image search to try to determine if he’s who he claims to be.

In one case, a very nice-looking man said in his profile that he lives in Charleston (where I live) and is retired. When the thought occurred to me that he looked like a wealthy movie star, I decided to check him out before contacting him.

It turned out the exact same photo was on Linked In for an actively-employed senior partner in a Los Angeles law firm — not a retired man in South Carolina.

Another time the exact photo I checked out appeared on a page where several women announced, “This man is a con artist!” and wrote about how the man tried to con them into giving him money.

How to Do a Google Image Search

You can protect yourself from scammers using Google image search.

Just follow these steps:

  1. Save the photo on the man’s dating profile by right clicking on it and selecting “Save Image As.” Save it to your desktop and name it “Test.”

2)  Now, go to this website in your browser:

3)  Click on the camera icon, and it’ll open to Search by Image.

4)  Select Upload File, and choose the photo you just saved to your desktop.

Some “computing” will take place and a list of pages where the image — or similar images — occurs will appear, along with the photo.

See what comes up… and decide where to go from there.

Related blog posts:

Scammers are Ruining Over-50 Online Dating

Internet Dating Scams

Online Dating Horror Story #1: Don’t be Cruel…

Online Dating Horror Story #2: Way Too Hairy

Online Dating Horror Story #3: Thunder and Lightning

Online Dating Horror Story #4: A Deli Emergency

Online Dating Horror Story #5: First Date with a Doctor and his Son at a Swimming Pool

Online Dating Horror Story #6: A Walk on the Beach Goes Terribly Wrong

Online Dating Horror Story #7: You Live WHERE?

Online Paper Bag Speed Dating: Would You Do It?

Online Dating: Dealbreakers

Dilemma: Old Flames in Family Photos

NOT a Happy Camper

GOOD Dating Stories:

Dating a Much Younger Man

Memories of Good Times with Tom (We Met, We Laughed, We Acted Like Third-Graders)

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Staying Together Without Childless Nights

I don’t know about you, but I’m always seeing blog posts, articles, and pins about the importance of date nights, how to have them, ideas on the cheap, and ideas for nights at home. For me, it can be annoying to see all these articles because quite frankly Hun and I don’t have childless date nights.

In fact, in our 3 years of parenting, we’ve had all of 3 dates. That’s an average of 1 a year!

date, togetherness, parenting, relationship, strong, family, no date, childless, nights, tips, printable, free

That leaves 364 days when we are with our children from sun up to sun down.

You might wonder how we manage it all. Today I’m hanging out with Jess of Faithful Farm Wife sharing our top 3 ways to stay strong and maintain our intimacy, without any date nights!  So head on over to Jess’ blog to see how we manage our relationship in the midst of parenting with an average of 1 date night a year!

Tell me how you keep your relationship strong in the day-to-day. What are some ways you stay connected to your partner while also raising your precious children? Or, if you’ve made it through the young children stage, tell me your biggest tip from that time.

Read more from Kendall on her blog at Life Breath Present

Once There.  Now Here.  Later Elsewhere.


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9 Ways a Revamped Household Got Me the Guy


‘An Unattended Home can be the Biggest Hookup Hindrance’

You might not believe me if I shared the concept of ‘Sexing Up the House’ for a better love life. As much as it sounds unrealistic, there is a lot of thought behind this newly discovered phenomenon.

I am a single and independent woman who lived alone in a spacious apartment. It wouldn’t be wrong to say that I had a pretty active sex life albeit not inside my apartment.

Be it hanging out at a friend’s place or going off for a long vacation, things always looked brighter outside the restricted walls of my home. However, there were times when I was too lazy to go out but not lazy enough to enjoy a romantic date with my guy.

But to my surprise, none of the home-bound plans were successful as most guys couldn’t keep up with cluttered bedroom, unkempt drawers and even my individuality.

This is when I inferred that a person’s libido is directly proportional to the condition of the living arena. While this was more of an epiphany, implementing the fixes resulted in things going back to the normal.

I started dating with renewed confidence and actually succeeded in bringing the guy of my dreams to this once denounced home of mine.

In this post, I would be sharing 9 easy fixes which can help you overcome the hookup hindrances and live uninhibited:

Cut the Clutter

Trust me, ‘Clutter’ is one of the many hookup demons— equivalent to the likes of bad kissing, body odor and even bad breath. Having a messed up home leaves a bad impression as the prospective partner might actually start feeling negatively about you. A mess infront of the eyes often means a messed up head.

Even if you are already in a relationship and living in together, sleeping on the pile of bills, pending projects and filthy clothes can end up being frustrating. Look to minimize the clutter by allotting dedicated spaces for each including dirty clothes, unpaid bills, memos and everything that can get confusing to work with.

Decluttering your home is imperative if you are wishing for that perfect romance.

Avoid Family Photos in the Bedroom

Bedroom is that elusive space that succeeds a romantic evening. The trick is to avoid family photos into the bedroom so as to keep consciousness at bay while getting intimate. As much as you love your family and siblings, watching them while making love can negatively impact the sex drive. While harmonizing spatial arrangement, imagery and even spaces is vital— you must look to stay strictly romantic when the bedroom is concerned.

I had my mom’s photo in the bedroom and it was exceedingly difficult to try out stuffs while facing that picture.

Studies have also revealed that that in order to spur sensuality, comfort and warmth— natural images are the best options. You must remember that hooking up or making love depends on the mood of two individuals and family might actually hamper the libido to a substantial extent.

Tech Tools Are Too Confusing

The best advice for the romantically inclined individuals is to eliminate tech from the love nest. Get one thing straight— bedrooms aren’t corporate establishments and hardly require tech essentials. Cut out on TVs, home theaters and anything that has some sort of circuity associated with it.

Having an alarm is just fine as it will help you get back to senses after a presumably ‘wild’ night. Tech tools are distractions and my office essentials hardly make it to the bedroom— more so when I am with him.

The Past Needs to Meet the Trash

We all have had relationships in the past and some might have ended in heartbreaks. Regardless of the number of past involvements, I would request you to trash the past memories if you are seriously considering moving in with the man of your dreams. This extends up to the bedroom as gifts, cards or souvenirs can get distracting at times. If the gifts are too close to your heart, put them in the store room or stock them with a friend but never keep them in the love nest.

Take Care of the Bathroom

The bathroom can actually present the true picture of a household as it shelters the secrets which are even oblivious to the bedrooms. Therefore, it is our responsibility to keep the shower clean and fresh-smelling. I still remember when a pretty appealing guy walked out on me over sweaty gym clothes and soap scum. Not every guy wants to get laid at any cost and the best ones are pretty particular about the cleanliness.

Keeping the loo clean becomes all the more important if you are seriously considering shower sex. That said, the place needs to be clean in order to get dirty over there.

Dimensions are Everything

I am a single woman and a king-size bed will be the last thing I need to care about. However, if you are planning on getting romantically involved with someone, the bed needs to be comfortable—preferably in terms of dimensions. Be it a steamy night of passionate encounter or the early morning snuggle— a comfortably big bed is something you should invest in.

If your bed isn’t the biggest one around, try to streamline the same by cutting out on those extra pillows.

Never Overdo Sex Accessories

We all have a kinky imagination but overdoing it on bed isn’t the way to go. Instinctively, it is the guy who calls the shots but having a few tricks of your own isn’t a bad idea. However, keep the options like vibrators, condoms, sex toys and pills in close proximity to the bed.

A year back, my elder sister stumbled upon my collection of pills while meandering through the shoeboxes. While things did get awkward for a moment, I quickly gathered by wits back and opted for a combination-based lock. I would, therefore, urge the ladies to choose a confidential storage with recallable codes— just to keep the accessories in place.

Bad Lighting Kills It All

While some prefer making love in the dark, a softly glowing boudoir isn’t a bad idea at all. However, never go for an all illuminated approach as it can easily douse off the romanticism. The idea here is to make the shift from ‘later’ to ‘right now’.

Other ideas which are regularly used by me include a non-flammable, light scarf over the lampshade or incense candles. Then again, refrain from using a lot of odor.

Under-the-Bed Storage is your Alter-Ego— Keep it Organized

I would like to objectify the under-bed storage region as your subconscious. The reason is that we do keep thinking about what’s underneath even in the middle of a romantic conversation. Keep the area clean, organized and free of objects which hardly ignite your passion or love for the concerned person. If you are looking for an amorous environment, try to persist with objects that excite you— romantically.


The mentioned ideas are strictly my personal inferences as modifications likes these helped me immensely with my love life. However, if you ever stumble upon the right person, neither of these might actually be required. At the end, it is all about the comfort level between the two and these tips are only there to accentuate that feeling.

Shikha Singh

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Single Because? "I am not willing to compromise who I am for another person"

Although I am a firm believer that everyone needs someone, the primary reason I am single at this time in my life is I refuse to settle for less than I deserve. I was in a 22 year marriage in which I gave my life to my husband, my children and my job. I never put myself first, I made countless sacrifices, and I am good with those decisions at that time. I was raised to believe that it was my responsibility and role to be a certain type of woman. But when you are that involved and committed there is no way you can invest in yourself while you are doing all of that. I let myself go physically, I was emotionally unfulfilled by my husband, and my job wanted me to be a workhorse. I always thought that if you had old fashioned values, and did what a woman was “suppose” to do at home, that you would be married forever. And although every man wants to come home to her, they cheat on her with the selfish chick that uses them for their money and takes the time to invest in her body, but treats them like garbage.

I am Single Because…

In the two years I have been separated and going through my divorce I have learned that I am not willing, at my age to compromise who I am for another person. I learned that the 20 year old Tiffany was willing to accept things that the 42 year old Tiffany would never accept. I found myself following the same pattern of dating men who “needed” me rather than loved and appreciate me. That led to the same destructive resentment I felt in my marriage and I quickly ended those relationships. I put my life on hold, and put my husband through school not once, but twice. Only to have him cheat on me with the first white girl he could find when he started making money.

I am Single Because….

I bring a lot to the table, and although you should never do for others just to get something in return, don’t find yourself always on the giving end while your emotional needs, physical well-being, and mental health is neglected. If you don’t have someone willing to meet you half way, and willing to be there for you, and dare I say, PROUD to have you on his arm, you might want to continue in the search. I have a bad habit of “doing the most” in a relationship and being hurt when the love is not reciprocated. Men love differently than women. I understand that fact, however, if I can accept that about him, he will need to accept that he has to step outside of his comfort zone to love me the way I need it. A man will only do what you “require” him to do. Until I can find that, I will continue to be a Sexy Single Mommy!

*This post was submitted for my Single Because series. I am not the author*

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Friend Rquest

To be friends

You asked me if we can be friends…I thought I was your friend, and you were mine. I gave myself to you, I loved you-is that not a friend?

I listened to you, let you sleep on my lap when you were tired, I massaged you when you were stressed-I was your friend. I gave advise, checked up on you, took your side every time-I was your friend.

We had Christmas lunch with my family, laughed and joked, went for movies with my daughter.

My daughter-my most precious jewel, the one person I would die for-the only one I live for-I shared her with you, because I was your friend.

But you were never mine….you looked at me with indifference when I ran smiling to kiss you hello. You shook my hand off when I tried to intertwine it with your own. You hid me from your family like a dark secret even though you were already a part of mine.

You discarded of me when you thought your life would come together, and you no longer needed a friend.

I can’t be your friend, I have tried and I have failed. I can never be your friend because you have never been mine.

I hope you find friendship in your future-when you do, remember to reciprocate it. If you give as much as you receive, you will never have to ask her to be your friend.

Good luck. 

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Wedding Bells

I vividly remember the day my son Danny, and his bride Alli were engaged. It was a beautiful summer day and our families got together for a wonderful celebration in the city. Their engagement was two years, and I recall thinking back then, that there would be so much time to plan for their actual wedding day. And now, with their wedding this past weekend, I find myself saying, “Wow! That sure went by fast!”

I discovered no matter how you prepare, as a parent, you are never quite emotionally ready to see your oldest child marry. For me, it was almost surreal. As I sat in the church watching my son, my little boy take his vows, I felt like my mind and heart were being shown a mini movie of his life, little snapshots of his childhood up to the very moment he said, “I do”.


The chapter of Danny growing up in my life’s novel ending, and a new fresh page of his life as a married man, a husband, about to begin.  I am blessed to have very close relationships with all my children, and our newly combined families had a wonderful time celebrating together. There will be beautiful photos to enjoy, I know. However, the sweet unexpected moments that weren’t captured on film, are the ones that I will always hold close to my heart. We love, love, love Alli and can’t imagine a more perfect match for Danny. We wish them much love and happiness in the years to come. I think my son David, the best man, said it best in his speech and I would like to share a portion of that with you.

“Remember that life is a mutable and transmogrifying experience, and to try to remain static within it is impossible, misguided, and just plain stupid. So everyday, do something that on the surface seems impossible, misguided, and just plain stupid, because those are the things that stay with us. No one ever says “do you remember that time everything went exactly according to plan and the outcome was just as we expected?” So, be aware that when things go wrong, and they will go wrong occasionally-such is life, that it isn’t necessarily a bad thing. It may just be the universe’s way of saying “hey, this is something you should file away.” Life may be corybantic, but it is not without purpose and the best thing you can do is embrace the chaos, and avoid prolonged lamentation. ” David Malone


So Danny and Alli, here’s to you and your new journey as man and wife.  May your life together be filled with peace, joy, love, and laughter……lots of laughter. We love you!

~May (aka mom)


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Condom Shape Chart

Condoms come in all shapes and sizes. This condom shape chart should help you in pick the right condom style that will aid in making condom wearing more enjoyable.

Reservoir Tip Condoms– These are regular condoms. The reservoir tip acts as a trap to collect semen.

Non-Reservoir Tip Condoms– These condoms feature a straight wall design without a reservoir tip. These are mostly used in the healthcare industry and for oral sex.

Form-Fitted Condoms– These condoms provide a better fit and more comfort.

Studded Condoms– These condoms have raised bumps for added sensation.

Ribbed Condoms– These condoms have raised lines on the shaft. These lines help in stimulation the vagina for added sensation.

Special Shaped Condoms– These condoms feature a “Baggy” pouch on the head. The extra headroom makes it less restrictive and better feeling and helps in creating extra sensations.

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The Lesson I Learned About Being Present in the Moment

I learned a valuable lesson recently about being  fully present in the moment, and valuing the people who are right in front of you. A close friend of mine recently ever so gently, called me out on leaving the 2nd half of her birthday celebration early, because I was all in my feelings about there not being any eligible guys for me to talk to at the venue. Considering her boyfriend was with her, I didn’t think it would be a big deal for me to take my lonely self home and wallow in my single status. But what I didn’t realize was that she wanted me to be there and that my declaration of there “just not being enough cute guys for me to mingle with”, made it seem as if I was only there to meet cute guys and not celebrate with her. Certainly with me being single for 4 years, the guy mingling was half of the plan, but the bigger picture was that we were all there to celebrate my friend, and the blessing of having another year to spend with her. And although she may have had her boo with her, she still wanted me there too.

So why couldn’t I just be happy to hang out, enjoy the scene and have a good time? Because sometimes it just gets to be too much. The singleness, the loneliness, the longing to no longer go to these type of things by yourself. Every. Damn. Time. It just gets to be too hard. I don’t have the energy to keep being “ok” when I’m really not “ok”. But  in letting these feelings get the best of me, I lose focus on what is right in front of me. The love and laughter of some of the most incredible girlfriends on the planet, who despite my inability to get or keep a man, still love me unconditionally and still want me to be there with them and their boyfriends, even when I feel like a burden. And there are other examples of times when instead of just relishing in the moment that I have with those who love me most, or enjoying the space and freedom of solitary me time, my mind wanders to how I would love to have that special person by my side. The reality is that there isn’t a special someone in my life, but that there are MANY special someones. Those include my friends, my family, co workers, people I meet in passing, those I volunteer with and mentor, the chatty Uber driver, and the few guys who sometimes cross my path. These are all people I can connect and be present with everyday.  And if I just step outside of the hopeful fantasy of having that one special someone, I could step into the amazing reality of all the love and happiness of the someones who are in my present. 


Marcie S.


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